


The Last Time

by Mighty_Penguin_96



Series: Hold On [1]
Category: In the Heights - Miranda/Hudes
Genre: Angst, Hurt and comfort, I wrote this instead of talking to my therapist, Maybe - Freeform, Suicide Attempt, WIP but also stand alone, are they gals being pals or are they gay, i mean I KNOW but you dont, its a mess just like my life, shitty parents, suicidal character, yet - Freeform, you may never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25270723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mighty_Penguin_96/pseuds/Mighty_Penguin_96
Summary: All the times Nina noticed something was off about Vanessa.
Relationships: Nina Rosario & Vanessa
Series: Hold On [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121834
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	The Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> TW for non explicit suicide attempt. Vanessa survives

The first time it happened, it was an accident.

Vanessa and Nina were laying in Nina’s bed, staring at the ceiling, giggling about how Nina got caught trying to sneak out to see a live performance of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” of all things.

“I swear, they know where I’m at and what I’m doing no matter what,” Nina said, giggling.

“Nobody would even notice if I died.” Vanessa cringed as soon as it slipped out, freezing.

Nina fell quiet, and shifted. When Vanessa looked at her, Nina was propped up on her elbow, watching her intensely.

“I’d notice,” she said firmly.

Vanessa smiled awkwardly, then asked her to tell her about something she learned from her online classes.

They were both restless the rest of the day.

* * *

The second time it happened, it was less accidental, but still not on purpose. It was hot and humid, but it had been raining all day- Vanessa showed up on the Rosario’s doorstep in the dead of night, drenched. It looked like she had walked the entire way there.

Camila ushered her inside, tutting and worrying. “What happened, chica?”   
  
“Mami’s drunk,” was all she supplied, looking down.

Camila’s mouth pressed into a tight frown. She called Nina downstairs, and when Vanessa said “She told me to kill myself,” between shaking sobs into Nina’s shoulder, Camila pretended not to hear. She went into the kitchen and started making hot chocolate, because what else could she do?   
  


* * *

  
The third time it happened, it was overheard.

Nina was coming into the salon to get her brows done, maybe a haircut if she could afford it- although Vanessa always gives her a discount.

But it was only Carla on the floor, sweeping up hair from the last customer. Carla guided her to a chair, and Nina could hear Daniela and Vanessa fighting in the back.

“Ah-cha-cha-cha!” Dani shushed. “You will stop smoking! Hueles como mierda! You scare away customers with your stink. And I heard they kill you!”

“Good!” Vanessa snapped. She burst through the door and stormed out of the salon, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Nina, though, that she threw the rest of the pack away.

* * *

  
The fourth time it happened, they were just spending time together at the park, eating sweets-

“Do you ever wish you were dead?”

Nina laughed nervously at the abrupt question. “No? Why would I ever wish that?”

“Because everything kinda sucks?”

“That doesn’t mean we should just give up, though, does it? Mom says that there’s always pieces of peace in our lives.”

“Is there?” Vanessa mused, taking a bite of her piragua.

“Ness, are you okay?” Nina asked after a moment.

“ Hm? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking, is all.”

“ You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“ Obviously.”

* * *

The fifth time it happened, Nina didn’t catch it until after.

Practically the entire neighborhood was packed into the airport to bid Nina farewell. Nina couldn’t help but notice that through all the tears, Vanessa merely frowned the entire time, aside from when they said their personal goodbyes.

“Don’t ever forget about me, okay?”

“Never,” Nina said, pulling her into a hug.

Part of her wanted to scream, to shake Vanessa until she told her what was wrong. The entire month leading up to this flight was nothing like they had planned, with Vanessa bailing on all their plans to hang out with Usnavi.

However, Usnavi said that Vanessa rarely even came by for her coffees anymore, much less going to the club every other day.

But she didn’t do anything. She smiled and trusted that Vanessa would come to her when she was ready.

* * *

Nina ignored her phone when it went off during a lecture.

And she ignored it again when she was on her way to work after said lecture, because  _ carajo she was gonna be late damn the busses-  _

And she muted it when she was on her way home because it was dark and men were looking her up and down like she was a piece of meat, and the second she let go of her pepper spray or looked down to check it, they might pounce.

And she forgot to check it when she got into her dorm because she was exhausted, so she stripped and fell into her sad excuse for a mattress, and slept.

But she was woken before the sun was up by her phone ringing, which she declined. When she rolled over to go back to sleep, it rang again. The Caller ID said it was her mom.

“Bueno?” she answered groggily.

“Mija, venga a casa, Vanessa esta en el hospital.”

“Mande? Why? What happened?”

“Dani said she jumped from the top of the fire escape. Mija, she needs you.”

The phone hung up with a click. Nina didn’t waste time packing, she just threw clean clothes in a backpack and ran to catch a taxi, paying for the next flight on her phone.

As soon as it was booked, she looked at her notifications to distract herself, but her stomach dropped looking at the messages she ignored all day.

**VANESSA <3**

_ Yesterday, 3:23 PM _

**Nina?**

**Can I talk to you please?**

_ Yesterday, 4:12 PM _

**Nina please I need help**

_ Yesterday, 11:02 PM _

**God I know you’re busy but i need help I can’t do this**

**Nina please I’m sorry**

**Fuck I’m sorry I can’t**

**Sorry sorry I know you’re busy. Hope you’re safe.**

_ Today, 2:47 AM _

**_Im sorry_ **

**_Im so so sorry_ **

**_This isn’t your fault_ **

**_I love you_ **

**_Don’t forget about me_ **


End file.
